Hope is a risky thing. The higher the hope, the greater the potential for deep disappointment. The more you invest, the more you might lose.
I'm realizing more and more how much I operate under fear. It's not that I shake with trepidation in the face of dilemmas, situations, or uncertainties; it's that I'm afraid of potential complications, unnecessary disappointments, and seemingly avoidable hurts. This fear of 麻烦 leads to a certain wariness and skepticism towards having hopes and expectations. In my mind, I think I believe that it's better to tend towards caution than to take bold risks. This isn't how things are supposed to be, though, and I'm slowly learning how to give my fears to the Lord. I'm learning how to hope in Him by surrendering my hopes to Him. I think it's been one of the hardest lessons.
you updated! i really thought i checked your blog recently but it was only until i stumbled upon my rss today that i realized you updated. dun dun dun!
props for surrendering hope and giving dad control. i guess you opened up the option to be disappointed--that's big.
i think i'm dealing with a similiar thing (then again, surrender is a struggle for all humanity because the sinful nature leans on doing what we think best). i'm trying to give up my prejudices and loosen my clutches on the familiar to give him room to work and be L. alas.
let's trepidate together. *shake shake*. jk. i'm falling in love with mt8. it's that good.
talk to you soon. it's been busy recently but hopefully i will catch you sometime when you're watering those camels. ha.