Realizations.
One of the harder things about caring about people is realizing and being okay with the fact that you aren't the best thing for them. As much as I want to be a part of their growth, and maybe even the reason for it, my influence is always more limited than I would like.
This is one of the harder things about romantic relationships, and being attracted to people. As much as I care and want to lighten his burdens, ease his hurts, and help him grow, I also know that I'm not the answer to his problems, just as he isn't the answer to mine. In this light, separation and unfulfilled hopes aren't all that painful. They simply mean that, for the time being, I have done my part in his life (hopefully not as a negative influence), he has done his part in mine, and God will continue to grow us apart from one another.
These are all generalizations, of course :).
she lives! i think it's always hard to accept the fact that what we think is "good" or "best" sometimes just had horrible results. it startles me often when i realize that my whole frame of reference and value system is flawed and not very "good" at all.
i'm glad dad defines goodness and that he brings some needed absolute boundaries and foundations into our gray, confused world.
hope you're enjoying jughandleland. come back soon for some 刨冰,k?